4 Year Anniversary

 

I can’t believe it has been 4 years already. Paul and I have been together for 6 years all together. We found each other later in life by the Grace of God. All newer marriages are different. For us, we did not live together before marriage. So the past 4 years we have been learning new things about one another. We each brought pets with us into marriage, some call that a blended family. Our fur babies are besties, although, if our little guy, Cody, could talk he would pretend otherwise. We follow the saying what is his is mine and what is mine is MINE. Backstory, I was a an only child for 11 years…I am still learning to share. In the beginning, marriage (living together, invasion of space and privacy, ownership of things and time) all seemed hard to manage. Again, I think this was a first born, only child thing for me. Now, our marriage feels more natural than ever. We have figured out groove. In honor of 4 wonderful years of marriage I asked Paul some questions and I will share too.

1. What about Marriage is different than you expected?

Paul: In marriage there is no faking it. You are as vulnerable as is humanly possible. Nikki knows all my strengths and weaknesses and still loves me through all of them. Being able to be that vulnerable with Nikki and having her continue to love me for who I am is one of the best parts of our marriage.

Nikki: It is sooooooooooooooooo much better. Especially 4 years in. Marriage does make you look at yourself in a different light though. All those really wonderful things that you LOVE about yourself, Magnifide times 10! All those nasty little things, you may HATE or dislike about yourself, MAGNIFIDE times 100! So there is that part that makes you a better person. I did not expect a marriage to help mold me into a better woman. I did not expect marriage to grow me and heal me. It is has. Marriage is an amazing gift.

2. What do you love most about Nikki/Paul?

Paul: I love her laugh. It is not just the laugh itself but being able to have a front row seat to see her go through so many emotions. But when she laughs and I can see the joy in her face that is the best.

Nikki: Gosh, so many things how do I pick just one. Paul has a way with words. He is the smartest, wittiest man I know. I will definitely say this how he swooped me up. He can take any situation and create this beautiful, elaborate “story” with his words. It is like a song. Many times, I find myself recording him just speak…

3. What is one highlight from the past 4 years?

Paul: There are so many. But how can I not start with our Honeymoon to Italy? That was a trip of a lifetime and one of my happiest experiences ever.

Nikki: The past 4 years have been incredible. I want to say in the last year and half, just realizing how much Paul really truly loves me. Not just loves me but LIKES me as a person. It is not just one experience it is many. The past few years have had some heavy parts in them. Our fertility journey has brought us closer and just made me realize the deep, pure love we share. Sounds so cliché but it is the truth.

4. What is one piece of advice on marriage for those singles out there?

Paul: Find someone who shares the same morals an values you do. For us, one aspect is our Faith. If we were not on the same page through some of the joys and challenges we have faced along the way, we may have ended in a different place. Knowing that we were in lockstep together furthered our bond through all the ups and downs life throws at you and allowed us to trust each other and believe together we were headed down the right path.

Nikki: Trust you gut. If you see red flags in the beginning, trust them. If you have a weird feeling, trust it. Do not settle for anything less than what you deserve. You deserve greatness, loyalty, honestly, trust, respect, communication…all the things. Make sure you know that. I went through a writing process with U & Improved. I wrote myself a letter, prior to meeting Paul. The letter was very specific about my dreams in life. One of those dreams, was to find someone to do life with. I got very specific on details. Faith, feelings, smell, looks etc. I focused most on how that person who would make me feel (safe, secure, loved, respected, joyful) and it turns out, Paul is all of those and more. When I took time to really hone in on what I wanted out of a relationship and what I was willing to give it made it all that much easier to date and move on if needed. Which lead me to Paul!

 

 

Read more of our engagement and wedding story from another perspective, our dear friends and photographers, Amy and Jordan Demos, AmyandJordan.com